Potato Chip Review #2: Jimmy John's Jalapeño Chips

Hello readers and once again welcome to another exhilarating installment of POTATOCHIP REVIEWS! We're kicking off 2023 with an unexpected competitor. It's not a potato chip exclusive company but an entire American Sandwich Chain. JIMMY JOHN'S.

If you have ever wanted to learn about the history of Jimmy John's for absolutely no reason look no further.

Brief History

Jimmy John's was founded 1983 by [you guessed it] Jimmy John Liautaud. Upon high school graduation Jimmy's father game him the choice to serve AMURICA and join the military or start a business. So he followed his heart, set out to build a hot dog empire, realized that was way too expensive and then opened a sandwich business with DIY bread instead. Whether or not a hot dog is considered a sandwich is neither here nor there.

In 2016 Roark Capital Group, a private equity firm founded in 2001 purchased a majority stake in the company. However in 2019 Inspire Brands, an American holding company who has Arby's Meats and owns the Donuts that are Dunkin' bought out the whole Jimmy John's company from Roark Capital for an amount they have decided for some reason not to specify.

How They're made

According to Jimmy John's website their kettle-cooked potato chips have three ingredients. Potatoes, salt, and peanut oil. The chips are manufactured by the company itself. There is no easily accessible readily available in depth insight on the process that I was able to find but given that they're kettle style chips I would imagine it's the same process as my prior post.

FLAVORS

The current flavors of Jimmy John's chips are

Jalapeno

Salt & Vinegar

BBQ

Regular [Whatever That Means]

Thinny [wE'rE nOt LiKe OtHer PoTaTo ChIpS]

Now let's get this party started with my unsolicited roast for these kind of memorable chips. Since it's been a while here is a recap of the review categories.

Flavor Memorability - Can I remember the taste long after I've had it? Or do I forget about it after a day?

Texture - My fellow Neurodivergents know when it comes to food texture is everything. Texture determines if this snack is worth repeatedly eating.

Taste - Does it actually have flavor, or does it have the idea of a flavor? Is it so good I would bring it to parties or is it so bad I wouldn't even want to share it with anyone other than my very few enemies?

Dip Dependent? - Is it a strong independent chip that don't need a dip to be good? Or does it need to be paired with a dip in order for me to even consider buying it?

Mess Scale - Straightforward. How messy of a chip is it?

MEMORABILITY: Significantly Less Than Mild

It's been a few weeks and the only reason I remember that these chips even exist is because my bestie gave them to me for a snack. If I rated it out of 5 it would be a at most a .75 out of 5. I remember liking the taste and how it did in fact taste jalapeño flavored but not in a way that burns and makes me wish I wasn't such a wimp for spicy food. I had a theory it was purposely non-memorable so every time you visit a Jimmy John's you think to yourself "Huh, I don't remember if I tried that flavor." And then you put it with your order and the cycle continuously repeats.

TEXTURE: It's there

This chip felt very light which is fitting given that the purpose was to be served alongside a jam-packed sandwich. However it wasn't Lay's level light which was nice because it didn't leave me hungry for 2-3 more tiny bags. The crunch was satisfying but also quiet enough that the sound wasn't constantly on my mind during the experience. I have no memory of the texture whatsoever but I know for sure it wasn't the same as a Pringle.

TASTE: Pleasant but not a candidate for Iconic status

If you ever felt like you've forgotten what a Jalapeño chip tastes like you can eat these and you'll be like "Oh yeah. That's what Jalapeño is. Pretty good." It's got that grainy flavorful feel but I definitely wouldn't categorize it as a flaming hot burn your mouth and chug half a gallon of water experience. I would happily re-visit this flavor though it has a very welcoming pleasantness.

BEST WITH A SANDWICH, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND WITH DIP

I would 100000000% put these chips in any sandwich it doesn't even have to be Jimmy John's but personally it probably would be since I would feel too awkward not buying a sandwich from there and just swiping some chips. If I came across these chips in the wild I would happily put them in my other sandwiches and they would enhance the taste tenfold. The thought of putting them in dip however, makes me physically nauseous just thinking about it. Some chips just aren't meant to touch dips.

1 ON THE MESS SCALE

For a Jalapeño chip this surprisingly left little to no crumbs and or grease. I think these may be the lightest chips I've had other than Pringles. If you are like me and you like to have chips at your side while you spend another hundreds of hours on your Animal Crossing Island I would recommend this chip. I mean, your hands will have some level of grease but not enough that it would interrupt the creative flow.

FINAL THOUGHTS

If there was a work party and I was specifically requested to bring chips or a singular kind of chip I would pick this one and introduce the experience to my lovely coworkers. This flavor was incredibly pleasant but not so much so that they would ignite a potential addiction. Are they as good as Tim's? Not quite. But are they better than Lay's? I would pick them over Lay's just to shake things up and add some variety to the party.

-JustJanejira

Sources:

“Jimmy John's.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 15 Jan. 2023, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_John%27s#:~:text=Jimmy%20John's%20is%20an%20American,Jimmy%20John%20Liautaud%20in%201983.

“Jimmy John's: Order Sandwiches for Delivery or Pick Up.” Jimmy John's | Order Sandwiches for Delivery or Pick Up, https://www.jimmyjohns.com/.

Potato Chip Review #1: Jalapeño Kettle Chips

To my coworkers and those that voted in the poll months ago, welcome to the first exciting installment of POTATOCHIP REVIEWS! The flavor of the day is Jalapeño kettle chips.

First, like any other obnoxiously long food blog let's dive into the history of the Kettle brand.

BRIEF HISTORY

The company was founded by Cameron Healy in 1978 under the name "N.S. Khalsa Company" but didn't produce its first line of chips until 1982.

In 2006 the company was sold to Lion Capital LLP, a British private equity firm founded in 2004. Lion Capital paid $280-320 million.

From 2010 to 2016 N.S. Khalsa company was owned by Diamond Foods (Founded in 1912 but ceased existing in 2016)

In March 2018 the Camden, New Jersey-based Campbell Soup Company purchased the company, which is now known as Kettle Foods, Inc.

HOW THEY'RE MADE

The company is based in Salem, Oregon. Russet Burbank Potatoes (high sugar) are scrubbed down and hand yeeted into an Auger. The auger shoves the unpeeled potatoes through a slicing blade. They become cut chips that are yeeted into a vat of bubbling hot, safflower oil. Specialized chip chefs keep the chips moving while they're cooking in the oil by raking the chips. This prevents them from sticking together.

A shaker conveyer carries the chips to an optisort machine which discards chips that are too dark. The chips that passed inspection go through a seasoning drum and are powdered with flavor.

FLAVORS

According to taquitos.net There are, or perhaps have been 89 flavors. On Kettle's actual website the chips are currently sorted into four categories. Featured, Classic, Krinkle and Organic.

There are 14 options, not including variety packs for Classic.

4 options for Krinkle cut

3 options for Organic.

Now let's get into what you really came here for. My roast for the particular flavor pictured above.

JUST JANEJIRA'S REVIEW CATEGORIES EXPLAINED

Flavor Memorability - Can I remember the taste long after I've had it? Or do I forget about it after a day?

Texture - My fellow Neurodivergents know when it comes to food texture is everything. Texture determines if this snack is worth repeatedly eating.

Taste - Does it actually have flavor, or does it have the idea of a flavor? Is it so good I would bring it to parties or is it so bad I wouldn't even want to share it with anyone other than my very few enemies?

Dip Dependent? - Is it a strong independent chip that don't need a dip to be good? Or does it need to be paired with a dip in order for me to even consider buying it?

Mess Scale - Straightforward. How messy of a chip is it?

MEMORABILITY: Mild

It's been a few days and I actually do faintly remember the flavor and the level of disappointment I felt when it wasn't as spicy as Tim's jalapeño chips. Because the brand is Kettle I can easily remember that one single chip packs about as much flavor and crunch as about a handful of lays. To me Kettle's texture is more memorable than the flavor.

I don't eat this flavor often but every time I do it's because I think "Oh, I don't think I've tried that before." and then I taste it and think "Oh wait, I have. I swear it was stronger last time."

TEXTURE: Thick but not too thick

Personally, I wouldn't be able to eat these in a handful. It's more of a one to two at a time kind of chip before my sensory says OW WTF. When the chip splits in my mouth it isn't sharp like Lays Ruffles. The crunch factor is definitely there but it's not overwhelmingly loud. The surface is rough which makes sense considering the process it's been through.

TASTE: Could be hotter

If you are like me and you wish to be a spice connoisseur but can only handle spice in the tiniest of increments this flavor won't hurt you, but it won't deliver if you're expecting true FLMAING HOT vibes. I was hoping to have to chug a whole bottle of water from the heat but instead I drank half a bottle because of the salt. The taste wasn't strong enough to linger. I would say it was a light taste, great for summer. I always come back to this flavor

NO NEED FOR DIP BUT WOULD RECOMMEND A SANDWICH

Kettle Chips aren't usually known for being dependent on dip nor have I ever gone out of my way to pair it with any. I do think it would work well with a thicker dip. The chip doesn't have as strong a flavor as say, the Hawaiian style kettle chips so it wouldn't overpower any dip but rather be complimented by one. However, if you crush these up and put them on jalapeno poppers there's enough flavor that you'll notice. (10/10 would recommend)

As a standalone I don't think I could finish a family sized bag without the aid of sandwich. I found myself getting tired of the taste after a while before I needed to use my subway sandwich as a palette cleanser. I like to put these chips inside most of my sandwiches and for reasons I do not understand, it brings out the chip flavor.

3.5/5 ON THE MESS SCALE

A 5 on this scale is cheeto and a 1 on this scale is little to no crumbs and or grease. This chip falls in the middle because although it's not crumbly and fragile like most thin chips and my hands didn't feel like they were oiled up and greased like the spicy men in Jenna Moreci's book The Savior's Champion there were salty particles flying everywhere that went unnoticed until I actively looked for them.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Would I bring these chips to parties if I were a regular party goer and someone asked me to bring a snack? If I couldn't find Tim's YES. These would pair well with whatever other food is there and if there were leftovers I could pair them with my sandwiches after. Kettle chips in general are iconic and at least give the illusion of healthy.

After the next three reviews I will go over my Staff's Favorites. I've been slowly but surely asking every single employee at my work what their favorite chip is because # content!

If I haven't already asked you though comment your favorite chip or a chip you would like to hear my thoughts on.

-JustJanejira

Sources:

Wikipedia contributors. “Kettle Foods.” Wikipedia, 20 Aug. 2022, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kettle_Foods.

“How Kettle Cooked Potato Chips Are Made | Unwrapped | Food Network.” YouTube, 15 June 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCIoNspDJvU.

Not to be dramatic but I'm Starting a New Chapter

Hey everyone it's been a while. Unless you're one of my coworkers who I just informed I have a blog hi there! Welcome to the inner workings of my mind haha!

So I'll start with the back story that lead to this silly blog post title. Roughly 66 days earlier than now I lost all my money except for $7 from a scam going around Instagram. Someone pretending to be a mother commissioned me to draw a picture for her daughter's birthday gift. The rest of the details are unimportant.

Anyway, I'm on the phone with my loving partner Nick absolutely losing my mind and just mentally spiraling out of control. I stopped going to therapy for a long time prior due to my lack of finances so needless to say I hit a new low and wasn't having it for a while.

About a day later I started another counter for 100 days and set a new plan in motion to turn everything back around. I spent the first month tapping into the depths of my soul that I've spent so long avoiding and thought long and hard about the difference between what I wanted in life and everyone's opinion of what it seemed like I wanted. The truth was I didn't have a clear picture of what I wanted but I knew being where I was wasn't it. So I took a leap of faith and left my job, paused my art shop, halted every project I said would be done by the end of summer and paid off my debts from the scam in 44 days after getting a new job.

Last month I participated in the 48 hour film challenge for the first time

Team Mothership

My Loving Partner and I vibing

as both a co-writer and an actor. It felt like it had been ages since I pulled an all-nighter and worked with a full crew again. I hadn't actually done acting before so imposter syndrome was hitting me like a bullet train but the positive feedback from everyone has inspired me to explore it more. Everyone's love for filmmaking and creative drive to make the project the best that it could be lit a fire in me. I started co-writing more scripts with Nick and Panda [See my last post if you don't know who Panda is]

Going to the 48 hour award show [We won best Special Effects] and being surrounded by an entire theater of passionate filmmaking individuals brought me back to my early days of film school when I still dreamed big. Dreamed of my own animated feature films, dreamed of flying across the country for festivals, dreamed of late night shoots with people I love, dreamed of leading a crew and being utilized for my full potential, why had I put these dreams aside? Why did I convince myself I actually hate the tediousness of animating and that the process is for the professionals and not me? Why was I putting my biggest dreams on hold so I can help others with their endeavors first? Why was the thought of pursuing my own film projects and executing them the Jane-way considered selfish in my mind?

These questions swirled around in my head as I disassociated through the Seattle streets and stuffed my face with fries after celebrating the victory our project had become. I thought about how much I wanted to become an actor, director, and a screenwriter when I was little. My eyes watered when I thought about how many years it's been since I last animated and the fact all those years passed was because I thought I wasn't good enough. I spent years hiding behind the camera instead of being in front of it because I let stage fright stop me so I haven't made a youtube video with myself in it.

I didn't feel okay for a while after that

To put lemon juice on my papercut the battery in my 2016 laptop died right before I had to do some graphic design work for some clients and co-host a podcast with Panda as a guest. The laptop was primarily used for school, work, and obligations for others. I am not the type of person who blindly believes in "signs from the universe" however the timing hit me hard enough I let my skepticism slide. I treated myself to a pink gaming laptop to heal my inner child [Present me had crushed enough of her dreams anyway] and then it all finally came together.

A switch went off within me and I was okay again

I've decided to start my own production company, get back into animation, get into twitch streaming, and get back into making films. I'm going to update my website so there are no more graphic design services. From here on out unless I'm paid an absurd amount of money I will no longer be doing graphic design for anyone I don't know personally. My art projects will probably be delayed once again but I'm alright with that. When I do get back into my novel and comic projects my headspace will be much more pleasant and the things I create will be even better because of it. So, cheers to my new chapter I can't wait to start creating!

Comment an animal you think is kind of weird if you read this blogpost and check back in a few months. Maybe I'll get the hang of posting frequently haha.

-JustJanejira

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."

-Confucius

Links for Ghost Apple Productions

Youtube

Instagram

Twitch

The Fluid Strawberry

OUR 48 HOUR FILM

CLICK HERE TO WATCH